Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Life so far....

Ahh, haven’t blogged in ages because I’ve been so busy. Wow, almost a year now! Christmas is coming, my first ever without my twin – first time I’m celebrating our birthday without her – BIG SNIFF! This trip has been so weird and it gets more interesting as time goes by. I’ve discovered a couple of things about myself that’s for sure.

1. I’m a workaholic. I love working; I enjoy my job, (not particularly love) but certainly wake up with little or no trepidation about heading off to work. I like coming in early before everyone shows up, getting my act together and up and running by the time everyone rolls in at about 8. The only downside to this is that if I’ve had a particularly fun evening the night before, it shows on my face like glow in the dark bracelets the following morning so I’ve had to cut down drastically on "fun" evenings.

2. Nairobi sucks. I mean this city just plain sucks. It’s dusty, crowded and exceptionally filthy in some parts. But then again what city doesn’t have its bad points. I’m up bright and early every day and off to work when there’s no traffic. Oh yeah, forget about trying to leave town for lunch because getting back in will take at least an hour – and that’s just sitting in traffic. The roads are exceptionally bad. Lights do work but mainly during rush hour when there’s a traffic cop to reinforce that. Most of the time it’s a death race with matatus. My matatu stage thank goodness is nearby but there are people who have to take two to get to work! So, every morning, my trip to work takes exactly 15 minutes, but the trip in the evening takes a minimum of an hour. Same distance and in fact utilizing a shortcut but the traffic is just horrible. Usually, I’ll stay late if I see how bad the roads are and go for happy hour with whichever trapped soul is in the city and then I cab it home. I think Nairobi would be more bearable if there was more to do within the city as well.

3. And from number 2 I can definitely tell you that there’s nothing to do except booze. And Kenyans can certainly hold their liquor. It’s actually crazy to see what serious boozers there are. I know coming from me this is rich. But when people are drinking, quite openly in a bar at 10a.m. on a Tuesday morning and they are nowhere near an airport, that’s just crazy. Weekends are crazy and it was only just recently – as in last week, breathalyzers were actually introduced and people were dismayed at the limitation put on their boozing. There are quite a number of drunk drivers on the roads; actually every night you’ll see at least one so cabs were finally making money last week and were overcharging quite a bit because they could get away with it.

4. I love Mombasa and am actively seeking employment there. I’ve even contemplated becoming a fisherman…woman? Person? The whole place just spells R&R. I’m dying to go to Lamu or Malindi soon, which I hear are even more peaceful. But none can beat Diani beach. It’s not overrun by developers yet and still retains a very laid back Swahili charm.

5. The meat is too good. Sorry DT, but tofu will not just cut it for me. There are many nyama choma (roast meat) joints all over the place. A friend (American actually!) introduced me to this really interesting place that served incredible meat. You pick the cuts and they’ll roast them right there for you. Very nice. I’m drooling actually. The dishes are accompanied by huge slabs of ugali (boiled hardened maize/corn flour) that is tasteless but accompanied by that juicy meat and stewed sukuma (kale). Mandatory on the table is a kilo size Kimbo tin full of some seriously dodgy and watery Kachumbari (salsa) mix.

6. Politics is going to ruin this country and very quickly at that. You may have noted that there recent Orange V. Bananas constitutional referendum blah blah blah vote was concluded and the Orange (not the pres’s team) won by a clear margin. Well, he went ahead and dismissed the Cabinet and then two weeks later put it back together without a single vocal Orange in the group. Two of his own Bananas split from the bunch because they claim the cabinet postings were unfair as far as inclusion of other party members (sounds fair). But in reality, they wanted more prestigious ministries like Foreign Affairs to embezzle from rather than the lackluster and boring ones of Health which have already been thoroughly pilfered, hence rendering them useless as pocket money fillers. The only smart thing that cabbage in office did initially, was to get rid of the one guy who seemed determined to get himself banned from most countries (I think Cape Verde was the latest to revoke his visa).

Another sad and scary thing that none of these idiots seem to realize is that they are completely scaring away foreign investors by increased levels of corruption and some serious ass foot dragging when it comes to rebuilding the crumbling infrastructure. E.g., Kenya Railways (can you believe trains still run! And the last time maintenance was done was like 17th century…ok, 18th. ) There’s a concession to rebuild the railway and to modernize and connect the lines of Uganda & Tanzania to make them more efficient but the lovely and most efficient government of Kenya has managed to sleep through the process such that the construction is going to go ahead without the country’s own rail section.

7. Dating in Nairobi…. (Whistling, yawn, scratching head, examining fingernails – I need a manicure, ooh, new stuff in my In – Tray!) ’nuff said.

8. This country is truly, truly gorgeous. Getting out of the city is a welcome diversion and actually you get to appreciate and enjoy what is out there. Rolling hills? Check. Wild animals? Check Pristine Beaches? Check. Kind locals? Check. Good beer? Check. Overpriced beer? Check. Cheeky monkeys that steal the grapes off your breakfast table? Check. Beach boys mobbing you the minute you step off your hotel property? Check. Likelihood of watching a stampede of minivans in the Mara rather than Wildebeests? Check. Ok, you catch my drift but they totally add to the ambience and rich natural treasure that is the Kenyan experience. I totally love all that and look forward to trips out of the city. I truly wish I could have people visit me but I have to get a better apartment and most definitely a car before I can do that. Which leads me to…

9. Housing. The suburb where I live is growing way too fast. More and more apartment blocks are coming up with very little zoning and planning as far as structure to the existing facilities such as water, sewer and electricity supply. Just a month ago, a girl was electrocuted just by turning on the shower because KPLC (Kenya Paraffin, Lanterns and Candles) had done a horribly messy job of trying to connect a new housing development and inadvertently left a live wire touching the too closely exposed water pipe leading to the girl’s house. There are dozens of incomplete construction projects as well because halfway through choosing the tiles for the bathroom and paint for the walls, the investor ran out of chumz (slang for money – pronounced chooms) and so their drab apartment buildings sit there, relics of what freshly dried and un-sculpted cement looks like. Also in other places, construction goes ahead without approval and you get these urban monstrosities of 6 storey buildings that are erected on foundations built to withstand one storey, let alone ½ the latter level. Eastleigh suburb/slum (affectionately known as Mogadishu because of the majority population – ok all the residents are Somali) is a classic example of this kind of construction. At least Addis (Hurlingham) has more of a fairly modern 80s structure going to it.

10. Kenyans actually like Americans. They certainly imitate them as much as possible but there is none of that visible anti-US sentiment. Well, the Italians (who own Malindi) and the Germans (who criticize the government in the Press) have managed to distract foreign attention away from good old US. The only time people bring up any political rumination as far as G.W. country is to show appreciation for the continued denial of gay rights. Ok, that’s being a little harsh but honestly, Kenyans have a lot on their plate as far domestic issues such that the domestics of other nations does little to concern them except when it infringes on their rights – which actually are yet to be revealed seeing as the whole Oranges Banana salad was about the constitution and what rights we do / don't have.

Christmas is next week but to be honest, this 80-degree weather, cloudless skies and light humidity has failed to put me in the mood. I need bitter harsh winds from Lake Michigan to swoop in with a million feet of snow before I get into the spirit. I do miss all dearly and wish you the best.

Yay, F.C. is getting married! Soon to be F.S.C.O'S! Sounds like an exam n’est ce pas? This marriage will have a continuous passing grade anyway! Hugs, kisses to you both, congratulations!