Thursday, October 29, 2009

South Coast Beach Boys need to be put on boats and sailed into Somali waters because....

1. No I'm not interested in promoting you and your drug habit.
2. I don't have to acknowledge your existence when you're screaming "jambo jambo sista!" across the beach.
3. I got family too who have more pressing needs than you selling me a keychain on Chinese wood to promote yours.
4. I do not intend to add a four day Masai Mara trip to a two day beach holiday.
5. No, I will not look for the girl in the brown bikini and tell her that you're waiting for her.
6. None of your business in who's in my party and what are our immediate plans.
7. I will swim when I damn well want to in the ocean, not when the tide is low enough for you to drag your lazy drugged out ass.
8. Just because you couldn't get a sale from me on the beach means I'll be easier when I leave the compound to buy credit.
9. Those freaking dreadlocks - WTF? Was there a memo saying all beach boys must have them?
10. Stay on the North coast - more bait for you there.

Cannot stand beach boys, they are the roaches of the tourism industry. As soon as you squash one, 10 more appear. Fucking shits.

Enough venting from tranquil holiday location, somewhere on the south.